Life in South Park
by Aussie95
Summary: A new kid moves to South Park, in the poor neighborhood. Kenny-centric  Even though he isn't the main carachter  NO ,and I repeat, NO gay, slash or yaoi. Not entirely 'friendship' based but I don't know where else to put it. Rated T for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

"Well, what do you think of this place?" The father of Doug asked him as they just finished moving in they're new home in south park.

"What do I think? I think this place is bullshit. It's a fucking dump." Doug said, sitting on the couch.

"Hey! Don't you use that word. How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to use the 'F' word." He said as he hit his son on the head. 'God what a stupid redneck...' Doug thought. He took off his baltimore hat, scratched his head, put his hat back and walked out the door.

"I'm going to see if there's something to do outside." He said as he headed outside.

"Do you need any money?" His dad asked, not actually hoping that he'd have to spare a few dollars.

"No need, I already stole 15 bucks from your wallet." Doug thought. He spent a good half-hour looking for an arcade. He found a bar with an old 'invasion' or 'invaders' game or whatever it was called, y'know that game with the spaceships. He got some change at the bar and bought a glass of whisky. (They didn't ask him his age, they didn't really care.) As he was playing, Stan's uncle Jimbo, who was there with his war buddy Dan and Kenny's father Stuart, took a look at the kid.

"Now there's a man. Right Dan?" Jimbo said. Dan answered in his robotic voice.

"Damn right. Hey, Stuart. How old do you reckon he is?" Stuart didn't answer. He just looked at the kid.

"Hey son, how old are ya?" Stuart asked. Doug didn't look up from his game but did answer.

"Eight, why?"

"Jesus, look at that, eight years old and he's already acting like a 40 year old. I wish Stan would hang out with kids more like him." Jimbo said.

"What's your name? I've never seen you around here." Stuart asked him. Doug took a sip from his drink.

"My name's Doug. I just moved here. I'm actually from Baltimore but...well something about my dad losing money and, well we lost our house. Well, bottom line is...we ended up here." He said as he took another sip.

"Looks like we have a city slicker heh heh." Dan said. They chuckled a bit and Doug just ignored them. It was a little true. He was a little bit of a city slicker. Or how he put it a 'stupid spoiled brat from a city'. But he didn't always act like one. He just did when he was around his dad. Other than that, outside of his house, he was actually a pretty nice guy.

"So you just moved here huh? So you don't have any friends?"

"Well, no. I don't even know anyone from this town." Doug said, still without looking up from his game.

"Hey, d'you want to meet my nephew Stan? He hangs out with a few other kids." Jimbo said. "I think right now they're playing in a parking lot not far from here." Doug, who had just lost his game, turned around.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

* * *

"Stan?" Jimbo said as he approached the four kids playing with remote control cars.

"Yeah,uncle Jimbo?"

"Here, I want you to meet this kid we met." Stan looked at Doug. "He's new in town so be nice wit him. I think you two could become good pals." And with that, Jimbo went back in the bar with his two buddy's, leaving the five boys alone. Stan was the first one to talk.

"Hey dude. I'm Stan, this is Kyle, he's Kenny and the fatass is Cartman."

"My name's Doug. I just moved here from Baltimore." Cartman didn't really care of what he was saying.

"Dude, I just need to know one thing : are you a jew?" Doug looked at Cartman.

"Um...no?" Cartman gave a satisfied smile while Kyle looked at him wanting to smash his face.

"Well we're going to go to Cartman's house to watch some TV, you wanna come with us?" Kenny asked. Doug shrugged and followed them. "So you're from Baltimore huh?" Doug nodded. "Where are you living now?"

"In one of those wooden houses just a little outside of town." Cartman burst out laughing.

"Hahahaha you're poor. You're poor. You're poor like Kinney. You're poor like Kinney." Kenny and Doug looked at him with furious eyes.

"By the way dude. Isn't that hat of the baltimore orioles? Don't they like suck balls?" Asked Kyle.

"Yeah, but I don't really care. I mean sports isn't like my favourite thing in life. My real passion is theatre." They all stopped dead in their tracks.

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FAG!" They all laughed out.

"Ok, ok I know it's a little..." Doug said trying to calm them down, but they kept laughing their asses off.

"Oh GOD, YOU'RE A BIG FUCKING FAG DUDE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Cartman was the one espiecally laughing hard. Doug, just about pissed out enough, left for home, leaving the five kids keep laughing.

* * *

Doug on his bed, smoking a cigarette and thinking about the kids who had just made fun of him. Suddenly someone knocked on the door. His dad was talking to someone, but he didn't understand the voice of the other person. Suddenly he heard his dad yell.

"Hey Doug c'mon down here," Doug went downstairs to see Kenny with his dad. "This kid here brought some cake or something cuz we're their new neighbours. Thank him by... I dunno, give him a boor or something." Doug came in front of Kenny.

"Oh hey dude...You come to make fun of my interests some more?" Kenny suddenly took a offended look.

"Hey dude, don't put me in the same bag as those guys. As far as I'm concerned, you're more of a friend to me than that fatass Cartman." It was obvious to Doug that Kenny was being serious. He could see that he hated the fat one.

"What about those two other guys?"

"Stan and Kyle? Listen dude... you left pretty early, you didn't see everything. We, me, kyle and Stan I mean, we just chuckled a bit. It was Cartman who really pissed you off by laughing." 'Sonofabitch' thought John. But now that he was thinking about it,he was right. "Still, I do think you're a little bit of a fag, but you seem like a nice guy so...plus to be honest...you're the first friend I've had who's poor too so..." He looked at the floor. "So...yeah."

"Yeah...You wanna watch some TV...have a beer maybe?" Kenny walked in the door and they watched TV the rest of the day and just talked.

"Um...by the way dude, you do know I almost don't understand anything you're saying right? Because of your Oarka huh?" Doug said.

"Whatever."

* * *

End of chapter one.

I know that this isn't very credible in case Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would probably outcast him but...oh well

BTW I don't know if it's important but in my story there's that thing where Kenny has his power to re-born... didn't know if it was important.

Read, review and enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Just before I start I wanna apologize for putting 'John' instead of 'Doug' at the end of the first chapter. The reason for this is that at first the name was going to be John but I changed it at the last second, so when I was changing the names I must have missed that one. And I also made some other mistakes for example 'Oarka' instead of 'Parka' and 'boor' instead of 'beer'. Now I freely admit that my method was wrong, but I hope you can understand my motive. And will accept this explanation, and this apology.

* * *

Monday. The first day of school for Doug. He moved in Saturday. That was the day where he spent all day with Kenny. Sunday he didn't do anything. (He couldn't in case he didn't know where Kenny lived so he couldn't go find him.) He was just hoping that Stan, Kyle and Cartman wouldn't make a big deal about... his interests again. He walked up to the bus stop, which wasn't far away from his house, to see Stan and Kyle. He stayed a little far away, not wanting to mix with them too much.

"Hey Doug, c'm'over here." Stan said. Seeing that they didn't seem to want to make fun of him, Doug decided to go next to them. "So..." They snickered. "...you doin' lots of theatre plays?" When they (tried) to make fun of him, he decided to get away from 'em. "Hey, hey we were kidding dude. C'mon we were just talking about last night's film. Did you see it?" Asked Stan.

"It was awesome. It was a little old but it was cool. It was called die hard and there's this guy..." Kyle said going on about the movie. Doug wasn't really listening, not because he didn't like 'em or anything, he was just tired. After a moment Cartman came.

"Oh hey Stan, Jew and poor fag. How's it going?"

"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle yelled. Doug was thinking the same thing but Kyle beat him to it. Right after him Kenny came and the bus followed shortly after, so Doug didn't really talk to Kenny. When they got on the bus, Doug sat next to him. No one else was sitting next to him so...

"Why're you sitting alone?" Doug asked. Kenny seemed like the kind of kid who's popular and who'd have a lot of friends.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?" Kenny asked.

"Uh...I don't know I was just curious." Doug replied.

"Well, I dunno why no one sits next to me. I never really cared to tell the truth." Kenny said. "What the hell kindof questions d'you ask?"

"I dunno, when I'm bored I ask stupid questions. Plus you look like a guy who could be popular if you wanted to."

"Yeah, well, I'm poor. Poor people never really become popular." Kenny snapped.

"You're telling me..." They sat in silence for a second. Thinking that the situation was a little awkward, Kenny decided to break the silence.

"Oh, by the way dude, this is your first day, right? Someone will have to show you around the school. Introduce you to the other kids and all right?"

"Uh...yeah." Doug said.

"Don't worry I'll take care of that, I know most of the people in the class. You already know Stan, Kyle and fatass..." He said, pointing at the kids on the bus. "...that's Butters, that over there is Clyde, Tweek over there is always paranoid so don't...don't tell him...just don't talk to him."

"Oh." Doug said. They all looked kinda weird. Especially that Tweek kid.

"That's Bebe, she has a nice ass, that's Wendy, she's with Stan so forget her aaaaand... oh Token, who's rich, aaaaaaaand... that's more or less it. There are other guys, but there are a lot of sick people too so..."

"Uuuum...yeah." Doug really didn't understand a word of what he was saying. (Because of his hoodie.)

* * *

"So that's the difference between a transvestite and a gay person." Mr Garrison said. "So for tomorrow do exercises number 1 to 5 and start that book report on..." He looked for his copy of the book. "...that book that you started reading."

"Hey guys, we're gonna go play some basketball, you wanna come?" Stan asked Kenny and Doug.

"Sure let's go." Kenny said, following Stan and the other guys. Doug stayed where he was.

"Hey Doug, you comin'?" Asked Kyle. Doug looked at him for a second without saying anything and then started following him. "So Doug, what does your father do?" Doug was kindof surprised at that question.

"Um...well, right now nothing but he's gonna try to find a job." Cartman saw the good moment to rip on him.

"Yeah, maybe he can get a job as a town drunk hehe."

"Shut up Cartman." Doug said.

"How much money d'you have?" Stan asked.

"Uhhh...not much." Doug said. He thought it was kind of a weird question.

"Come on guys, don't you understand? It's because he's even poorer than Kinney." Cartman said.

"Shut up Cartman! I have money. It's just that... we have to save it for food and stuff cuz my dad doesn't make money." Doug said. He realised just then how stupid that sounded.

"So...where d'you get money if your dad doesn't make it." Cartman said, knowing he had Doug in a corner.

"Well, it's my mom..." Doug replied.

"Your mom makes your money instead of your dad? God, your dad is a fucking loser." Cartman went on.

"No. My mom made a lot of money 'cuz she had a job. But now she can't work anymore 'cuz..."

"...Cuz she's a crack whore?" Cartman finished his sentence. Doug stopped. He looked at Cartman.

"No you damn fatass...because she's dead. But good guess anyway asshole." Stan, Kyle and Kenny were taken aback from what he just said.

"Oh dude... That sucks man." Stan said. Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Oh right, and how did she die?"

"She got in a car accident. She was run over by a car while crossing the road." No one said anything for a while. Cartman decided to break the silence.

"So, she didn't look both sides of the road?"

"Shut up Cartman."

"What kind of car squashed her?" Cartman went on.

"Shut up Cartman." Doug repeated.

"But you know guys, I think the most embarassing thing for him is not that his mom is dead, it's that it was his MOM who brought back money. NOT his dad."

"Cartman..." Stan said, feeling Doug's anger. "Shut the fuck up. You don't talk about this kind of things."

"Well, I can't help it if his dad is a poor, drunk who doesn't get a job, and his mom is a dead. By the way, who buy's you presents if your mom's dead?" Doug felt like murdering him.

"JESUS CHRIST YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT, LET'S SEE HOW YOU TAKE IT WHEN YOUR MOM DIES! BUT DON'T WORRY...BEING YOUR MOM SHOULD BE SO BAD, YOU'RE BITCH OF A MOTHER SHOULD COMMIT SUICIDE SOON!" Doug yelled. Kenny, having just about enough of the situation, grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him away.

"HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT! SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN...than...THAN I LOVE TERENCE AND PHILIP!" Cartman yelled back. As Kenny and Doug left, Stan and Kyle looked at their fat friend in disappointment.

"Damn dude. Making fun of a guy's dead mother... Weak." Stan said.

"Yeah, you just reached a new low." Kyle added.

"Yeah? Well, fudge you guys, I'm going home." He said as he left.

* * *

"Jesus, what's the fucking matter with your fucking friend?" Doug asked Kenny, still angry as hell.

"He's...he's just a fucking asshole. Don't take it personnally though. He does that to everyone."

"Oh, don't take it personnally huh? Yeah hee just made fun of my dead mother, but nooo... I shouldn't take it personnally." He said as he took out a pack of cigarette's and lit one.

"Wow dude, you smoke?" Kenny asked, a little surprised to see him smoking.

"Yeah, I steal 'em from my dad. Why? You don't"

"Sure I do, it's just that...It's just that I've never seen an other kid smoke too."

"Oh..well anyway, I could go for a beer. Let's go back to my place and watch some TV huh?" Kenny agreed and with that they left.

* * *

Well, that's my chapter. Sorry if I made any mistake's. As a guy once said : "To err is human, to..." "to..." You know what? Screw you guys I'm going home.

But seriously, hope you liked my chapter. Read, review and enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Kyle, Stan and Cartman were at the bus stop, waiting in their old fashion. They noticed Doug coming over. Stan and Kyle, suspected that he was still pissed about what happened yesterday.

"Hey, Cartman, here comes Doug. Don't piss him off ok? " Stan said, genuinely worried that Doug would break his friend's head if he kept making fun of him.

"Yeah dude. Stan's right. This kid looks a little bit out of his mind."

"Pft...c'mon dudes. I say what I want to that pussy. I can't believe you believe in his bullshit. Don't worry, he'll be crawling back." Cartman said, just as Doug came up.

"Hey guys..." Doug said calmly. "Listen, Cartman... I think I got angry a little fast yesterday. Maybe I should've been more patient. I'm really sorry dude ok? I didn't mean the things I said against your mother...but you know that right?" Cartman looked at him, put out his hand and smiled as a brother would smile to another brother just after a silly fight. They shook hands and evrything seemed like it was going to okay.

"See guys? I told this pussy would come crawling back. He's just sucking my balls so he can hang out with us, just like his dad probably sucks balls so he can have some drinks." Cartman said. Doug jumped on him (not in _that_ way you pervs) and started punching him in the face.

"You. Fucking. Piece. Of. Shit. I. Will. Fucking. Kill. You." Stan and Kyle had the right reflexes to get Doug off of him. Cartman, painfully, sat up. He sat there for a second, looked at his two friends and started crying.

"Oh my god, he beat up Cartman!" "You bastard." Stan and Kyle said (in a not unusual way might I add) Kyle thought for a second. 'Wait a second. What am I saying? I hate Cartman.'

"Good going there Doug." Kyle said, changing completely attitude. Cartman got up and started running away. All three looked at him running. Doug felt like he should've said something.

"Fuck him. I'm glad of what I did." The two other kids looked at him, almost frightened. As if on cue, Kenny appeared.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" He asked. Stan was the one to answer.

"Dude. Doug beat up Cartman. He ran home crying." Kenny was shocked.

"WHAT?"

"I know dude. His face was all bloodied too." Kenny was more shocked.

"WHAT?" He looked at Doug, who felt a little ashamed all of a sudden. "DUDE! That's awesome." Doug looked at him.

"I know dude, that's what I said." Kyle added. As if on cue, _again_, the bus arrived. They all got on, still talking about what happened.

* * *

The day went on without anything paticular. Cartman didn't come to school in the morning, however he did show up. He didn't say much to anyone, but he did say to Doug that he told his mom who was going to see Doug's dad. He also had a few band-aids around his face. When they got out of school, Cartman was giving a murderous look at Doug.

"Oh Jesus, Cartman. Are you _still_ angry about what happened this morning?" Doug asked.

"Yes I am you fucker." Cartman snapped.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I may have let my emotions got the better of me. But you have to admit you provocked me."

"God! You 'let you emotions get the better of you?' Are you kidding?"

"Ok, ok, you know what? I'll make it up to you. Let's go to my house, I'll get my BB gun, and you'll be the first one to shoot it." Stan, Kyle and Kenny stopped dead in their tracks. He had a BB gun?

"I don't care about your..." Cartman started, but Stan and Kyle stopped him.

"Shut uuuup."

"Come on Doug, let's go to your house." Kenny said, already heading there. They got to his house and Doug told his friends to wait outside while he went to get it.

"Wait here guys." He went in and looked for his gun. Then he noticed that his dad wasn't there. "Um...dad?" He yelled. He started heading towards his dad's room. He opened the door and... he just got shocked. He saw his dad in a bed with a woman... and they were... yeah. "Oh my god! Dad! What the hell?" His dad pulled his head out from the covers and looked at him.

"Oh, hey son..." He said rather casually.

"Good god dad."

"Listen Doug, I've been talking to Mrs. Cartman and..." Wait what? Doug thought. "...apparently you beat up her son. You know that's not good right?"

"Yeah, dad who's the woman?" Doug said hastily.

"Um...well it's..." She pulled her head out from the covers too. "...it's Mrs. Cartman." He smiled. Doug was dumb-struck. "Now...um...son listen..."

"NO!" Doug yelled. "NO! No! No. Dad. Dad! DAD! NO! NO!" He paused. He didn't know what else to say. "NO!" He ran to his room, got his BB gun and ran ouside. The others were waiting for him.

"Hey dude, what happened? We heard screaming and..." Doug cut him off.

"DO NOT ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE! DON'T EVER ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE!" Cartman giggled. He was happy that he saw Doug in this state. He didn't even care what he saw.

* * *

Sorry for the wait. I don't have internet right now so... Im actually writing on my brothers laptop... (Which for SOME REASON works but the other computer OF COURSE doesn't...forget it...)

Read, review and enjoy.


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